


There's No Way In Hell That I ever Said That

by Just_shipping_random_people (noxeir)



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Swimming Pools, fuck brendon urie, i'm literally just keeping this up to show improvement bc that man is even worse than this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-11-02 02:30:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20591606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxeir/pseuds/Just_shipping_random_people
Summary: Brendon has the brain of a goldfish and does not remember agreeing to die young. Not dying by diving from the highest dive board anyways.(first fic i posted, wouldn't recommend, but i won't stop u)





	There's No Way In Hell That I ever Said That

**Author's Note:**

> Just a lil something I mixed up:)  
Also I got two wips comin!
> 
> edit: hey there, this is p old, so read at ur own risk thank u

“I didn’t say that!”

“Yes, you did!”

“Did not!”

Brendon hmphed and glared at Ryan. Ryan glared right back at him and crossed his arms.

“You did, don’t lie!”

There was no way in hell Brendon had ever agreed to this, or maybe he did, he didn’t know. He might have the memory of a goldfish. But he was still pretty sure he didn’t agree to die at the tender age of twenty. Ryan however, insisted on killing him and dragged him up to the highest diving board anyways. Now here they were.

“Oi, are you gonna jump or what?”

Ryan sounded impatient, like really fucking impatient. Brendon looked down. No way was he jumping, there could be sharks, or he could get a heart attack or pneumonia or something! He could hear Ryan tapping his foot behind him. 

Well he was tapping in vain, because Brendon did not plan to die today. He was far too young to die, and he could already imagine the headlines: “Teen died of shark attack after jumping in pool” or “Teenager killed after hitting the water surface”, or- but Ryan interrupted his totally realistic train of thoughts with a shove against his back.

“C’mon dude!”

“What if there are sharks? Do you want me to get eaten up?”

“It’s a swimming pool, you dumbass.”

Whatever, it was still dangerous in Brendon’s opinion.

“But Ryan, what if I drown? Or hit the water with too much force?”

“For god’s sake, just jump! It’s only ten meters, you won’t die, you won’t get pneumonia, you won’t get cancer, so just do it! If not, I’ll personally make sure you die anyways.”

Suddenly jumping didn’t seem that scary in comparison to Ryan. So he gathered up his courage, walked to the edge and slipped. Fucking _ slipped _.

  
  


His nose connected with the ground, and Ryan cussed loudly while bending down to help him. His lanky hands turned Brendon around, and he skimmed over him assessing the damage. “Your nose is broken,'' he stated, after lingering his gaze at brendon’s face for a minute.

Was it? Brendon couldn’t feel that his nose was broken, but his pride surely was. Actually, he couldn’t feel his nose at all. 

But since Brendon is one of those extremely stubborn people, he tried to stand up by himself like he didn’t just slip head-first on a dive board. As soon as he straightened up though, he felt all the blood rushing into his mouth and he coughed and sputtered, feeling dizzy and falling back into Ryan.

“Let’s get down, ‘kay? And then I’ll break your nose back.” Ryan stated more than asked. Ryan almost always knew what to do somehow. Need your car fixed? Ryan knows. Don’t know how to cook a dish? Ryan knows. Broken nose? Ryan knows. He carefully turned Brendon around, guiding him over the board, trying not to step where the bloody puddles were. Brendon looked very lightheaded and paler than usual, and Ryan wondered if he’d get him down before he fainted, or if he’d have to carry him.

Meanwhile, the world was slowly blackening around Brendon, and Ryan’s brown curls were going in and out of focus. “Hey Bren, you there?” Suddenly Ryan’s face was right in front of Brendon. He had really pretty eyes. Such a nice brown colour. Then Brendon blacked out.

Ryan watched as Brendon’s head lolled forward, his hair falling in front of his face. Great, now he had to drag him down himself. Brendon wasn’t particularly tall, nor very heavy, but Ryan was a tall beanstalk, in other words not the strongest. Curse him for fainting, that clumsy, guitar-playing bastard.

  


If Ryan was in a film, this would be the scene where they zoom out to show the characters all alone in the middle of a desert. With him standing alone with a fainted, bloody Brendon at his side. Except this wasn’t a desert, it was a crappy public pool in Las Vegas all complete with a permanent smell of something sweaty, crappy old locker rooms, and tiled floors almost guaranteed to give you some kind of fungus. And they weren’t alone either, there were a couple people around and a swimming guard. Brendon _ was _ lying beside him on the rough ground all bloody and fainted, though. The swimming guard was currently power walking up the stairs towards them, almost slipping and grabbing onto the rusty rail half-way up. When he finally reached the top, the guard asked:

“Need some help?”

Oh. _ Oh _. Ryan cringed inwardly. He knew he’d seen that face before. This was the dude who had to stack up all the cans he knocked down on Thursday. And it was a hella lot of cans. Ryan wanted to just sink into the earth right there and then, but the dude coughed, giving him a look. Oh. He didn’t answer.

“Oh yea. No, yea um. Yes?” Wow Ryan, real smooth.

“Ok mister-”

“Ryan.”

“Ok Ryan, Dallon here. You take his head, and I take his feet, ‘kay?”

“Sure”, Ryan nodded and he and Dallon hoisted Brendon up and began to slowly and awkwardly move him towards the steps. But the steps were slippery, so they had to move extremely slowly to avoid tripping and more broken noses.

After like five hundred million years, a couple of awkward attempts at conversations and three stairs, Ryan’s arms had begun to ache. But while he was almost dying, Dallon, that fit, healthy, not thin-as-a-spaghetti jerk looked like he was just taking a stroll. And yes, he was a jerk, because Ryan was tired and frustrated, and there Dallon was, being annoyingly fit and beautiful and taller than Ryan. Store employees weren’t supposed to be lifeguards on the side in Ryan’s opinion anyways, like what the hell? Didn’t they like exist only inside the store or something?

However annoying Dallon was though, they actually reached the bottom of the stairs without any accidents, and a woman rushed up to them with a towel which she laid out on the wet tiles for them to put Brendon on.

“Thanks Sara,” Dallon mumbled before they carefully lowered Brendon onto the towel. Ryan lifted his arms and stretched his back, but then he heard Brendon groaning, so he immediately crouched down and looked at Dallon and the woman- no, looked at Dallon and Sara before he focused his attention on Brendon.

Brendon’s nose was throbbing in tact with his heartbeat. How romantic! He squinted and tried to open his eyes against the light, but it was really bright and blending, so he blinked several times and mumbled “oh man... I _ told _ ya it was a bad idea.”

Ryan, oh is Ryan still here? Brendon was surprised he didn’t just leave him after he cracked his nose at a diveboard like a moron. Whatever. Ryan said something. Something ending with “..we gotta crack your nose back.” Crack his nose back? 

Oh shit.


End file.
